in which I go from antsy to tearful

2006-04-06 - 4:15 p.m.

Today was moving along fairly normally until about 20 minutes ago. 20 minutes which have felt more like 90. Tick. Tick. Tick. I feel like I'm in The Telltale Heart.

This is a day of a million tiny projects, answering requests, updating files, writing blurbs and such.

It's also phone testing day. We've had weird problems with my work phone. Sometimes it gives a message that my phone's been disconnected. For some reason it happens every time that my Mom calls from home. She's home today so the phone company's been on the line with our tech folks, my mom and me all day.

Speaking of Mom...a couple of weeks back she was diagnosed with skin cancer. Luckily they said it's a type that doesn't tend to metastasize so that was a big relief. Tuesday she had it removed and they feel like they got it all. She was a bit shocked yesterday to pull back the bandage and find a two-inch cut across her cheek. She had no idea it would be that big. I think she was a bit shaken that it was more invasive than she thought, but the doc reassured her that this really was very superficial and nothing to worry about.

Of course they recommended she use sunscreen. She said she does, but when I asked her about daily sunscreen, she wasn't aware of moisturizers or makeup that include it so I think I've got to buy her some goodies for daily use.

I'm of course relieved it wasn't something serious. Ten years ago this month we lost her second sister to cancer. The first died when my mother was still a baby, so I never got to know her. The second one...she was always one of my most-adored people and I was lucky enough to be there and hold her hand as she passed away.

Ten years later I still so wish she could be around. I'd love her perspective on things. I think we wouldn't have the family rift we do today. I'd love to laugh with her again...she had a beautiful laugh that just took over her whole being. And, of course, I wish she were here to see her daughter so in love, happily married and see what a beautiful, warm, caring and intelligent person she's become. The ten years feels like a lifetime some days.

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Pretend it's 10th grade. Leave me a note.

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