In which my job somehow becomes pie-throwing

2005-12-16 - 9:06 a.m.

Imagine you throw a cream pie in someone's face. That's bound to make an impact, no? They would likely pay attention to what was going on, likely be able to tell you what flavor the pie was, and they'd darned well give you their attention, whether their reaction were fits of laughter or raging tirades.

Now imagine you throw a second pie at the same person. They're already covered with cream. Maybe it's a slightly different flavor, but the impact's nowhere near the same since the surprise factor and their attention belonged to the first pie.

Then you throw a third. By this point they're probably wondering why they chose to stand within throwing distance of you, what barn you were raised in, and what the heck they ever did to you. They pay no attention to the flavor of the pie...they're just trying to keep their nostrils and mouth clear from the sheer volume of mess.

By the fourth and fifth pie you aren't even touching their skin with the pie anymore. None of it's getting through. The pied face is now completely unreceptive and the only significant thing in their eyes is that you threw so many darned pies at them rather than what any of those pies contained.

So today my job is to try to convince some folks that we can't just throw all our message pies today or nobody's going to pay them any attention and I'll be left cleaning up all the mess.

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Pretend it's 10th grade. Leave me a note.

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