(our) song(s)

2006-02-23 - 10:51 a.m.

Our song. How many times have you heard people say, "That's our song?" Probably about as many times as you've heard a prospective bride or groom struggling to choose a song for their first dance precisely because they don't have "their song" yet. Brides in particular can sometimes get a bit anxious about trying to pick that one perfect song that symbolizes their relationship.

But sometimes the songs that become inextricably wrapped up in our relationships aren't necessarily the ones that sum up the relationship the best. Maybe they remind you of a special time with that person, a particular event (or maybe even a passionate interlude). Or maybe it's just that you were 13 and spent countless hours crying with the record player on repeat listening to that horribly sappy ballad yet again and again, wearing the groove into the vinyl(please, don't even try to say that was only me).

So I started thinking about some of those songs that will never be taken on their own in my head. Songs that will always make me think of some special someone.

Here are a few, in roughly chronological order.

Madonna
Crazy for You
Middle school. He is my lab partner. Socially, he's out of my league; intellectually, I'm out of his. When my mom saw him, she said he looked "tough" because he was wearing parachute pants and a muscle shirt. I had a codename I used to refer to him in my journal and in notes to my friends in case they were intercepted. I'm sure if anything had ever happened, I'd have been bored and disappointed early on. But that didn't stop me from wanting to touch his dimpled face when he smiled or see those blue eyes close to mine. Teen club. The cafeteria is dark. Crazy for You was the important song. Dancing to any other song was just a dance, even if it was slow. But dancing to Crazy for You meant the real-deal. Of course he danced with the popular chick instead and my heart sank.

Harry Chapin, Cats in the Cradle
and
Dan Fogelberg, The Leader of the Band
The first boy I ever kissed. He played both of these for me on his guitar and softly sang them to me. The kiss was lacking but the songs were wonderful and will forever have me sitting on the floor with butterflies in my stomach.

Breathe
Hands to Heaven
Sitting in the packed backseat, squeezed thigh to thigh against a crush, listening to this song and trying to read his signals...is he? does he?

Billy Joel
C'etait Toi
Picture the most over-the-top gushing lovesick teenage girl letter ever. Add a postscript in French for good measure. Pound self on head for years to come for having been so stupid as to actually send the damned thing. This song was one I raided to draft the postscript and so it takes a place of dishonor on this list.

INXS
Never Tear Us Apart
"our song" with a high school boyfriend. Slowdances and makeout sessions.

The Firm
You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling
Every guy in that circle of friends. First time I was meeting all of my new boyfriend's friends, he decided to make me feel officially welcomed (and I think to show off that he finally had a girlfriend). So he arranged for all the guys to stop the party, line up and serenade me a la Top Gun. Apparently some of their girls got a touch jealous so at all our parties after that, all the guys would serenade all the girls with that one or Kokomo. Yeah, it was the '80s. Shut up.

Marillion
Kayleigh/Lavender
Is it a bad omen if you fall for each other listening to a song about a breakup? We thought it wouldn't make a terribly appropriate wedding song, so we played it during the reception but had our first dance to the mushy "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera. A truly maudlin and stilted version of it that the DJ used instead of the better one I'd given to him to play.

Prince
When Doves Cry
Mutually deciding this was one of the sexiest songs ever recorded. Valentine's night. A strobe light. 'nuff said.

Nine Inch Nails
Closer
Newly divorced, borrowing my housemate from his girlfriend to hit the dancefloor for this one. The two of us blasting it in the house or sitting around watching Terminator, Highlander and Buffy and talking about sex over a couple of beers while the girls were off shopping. I was somehow like his testosterone break, well needed for the only man living in a house with all us girls.

Toadies
Possum Kingdom
Someone I shouldn't have been with. Driving back to work after a lunch hour that didn't include lunch and certainly was more than an hour. ahem. Next!

Goo Goo Dolls, Iris
and
Marillion, Answering Machine
Finally meeting a friend. I'd saved my first listen of a special album for the trip, which permanently seared, "I flew here to see you, my feelings and I..." right into the moment. Iris, that made us both think of John Wesley, and seeing the Goo Goo Dolls live on a wide, green lawn in Florida.

Marillion
Beautiful
Most romantic day I'd spent in my life. Finally we're alone, Beautiful plays and we have our first kiss together. My world changed in a moment. Then, fragile from the breakup, they added it to the setlist at the last moment in Amsterdam so I didn't know it was coming. It caught me offguard and tears poured down my face there in the balcony. Luckily these days it brings more of a twinge and a wistful smile for what once was.

Marillion
House
Late-night, transatlantic phone calls. Ice cubes chiming against the crystal in a glass of whiskey. His voice right there with me, so close I could hear his lips part as he pulled the cigarette from his mouth and the change in his breathing as he exhaled the smoke.

Porcupine Tree
Shesmovedon
He got me into Porcupine Tree, adored this song and then...Imovedon.

Norah Jones
Come Away with Me
His birthday. Her concert. He's behind me, arms wrapped 'round me as we sway to this together on a hot summer night.

John Mayer
Wonderland
"We've got the afternoon/You've got this room for two..."

Prince
Call My Name
His fingers on the piano keys, 2 am stillness settled through the house, playing a soulful version of this one for me.

Nickelback
Figured You Out
Aggressively sexy memories of this one. ahem.

It would be far too easy to keep going on and on. Music is memory.

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Pretend it's 10th grade. Leave me a note.

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